I started this online course on Coursera.
It’s called “The Science of Well-being”, and it is developed by Laurie Santos, a professor of psychology at Yale University. The course covers the latest scientific research on well-being and happiness and provides students with practical tools and strategies for increasing their own well-being.
This week I learned we are not always good at predicting what things will make us happy.
People tend to focus on external events or circumstances to attain happiness, rather than internal processes like mindset or perspective. They may think that winning a lottery, getting a promotion, or buying a new house will make them happy. However, research has shown that these external events don’t have a lasting effect on happiness, and it’s often the internal processes that truly shape our happiness.
Today I will tell you a story about my own process of discovering what brings me joy and happiness.
A couple of years ago, I found out how much I love dancing.
It all started when I was celebrating my 40th birthday party. I had just come back from NYC and seen a Broadway show for the first time. I was very inspired. We were throwing a party jointly with a friend, and we wanted to do something special. My friend’s sister is a choreographer, so we decided to perform as a Chicago musical. We didn’t have any previous dancing experience.
My friend and I were really busy people, but suddenly we found the time to practice every day for a whole month. It would be a surprise performance, so we were hiding it to everyone, including our husbands. We were so mysterious that they almost thought we were having an affair.
Lesson Learned #1: If you really want something, you’ll find the time.
I had so much fun, that I started jazz dance classes. I found this great place in Argentina, but that same year we moved to the US.
Since I arrived I was looking for something similar here. In a moment of serendipity, I finally found it. My friend had been inviting me to Zumba class. The day I decided to join, she couldn’t make it, but she said: Just go to the park and you’ll find them there. And I did. I found a group of ladies, and the teacher asked me: Are you here to dance? So I said, YES! They were just about to start and she explained that I should wear a Silent Disco headset.
That caught my attention as my friend didn’t mention a headset, but I put it on and started the warm-up.
The music was amazing, but nothing like I was expecting for a Zumba class, and then I saw another group of ladies at the distance, dancing Zumba. It was too late to run away.
Leason Learned #2: Sometimes, not finding what you want is good, you can find something even better.
It’s been a year since I have been dancing with Devi, from The drop. She is so energetic, fun, and creative. In the beginning, I almost quit as it was too difficult, but she kept saying to release expectations and focus on having fun and finding my own way.
This might seem trivial, but, for me, this had been an important journey about going outside of my comfort zone, and trusting the process.
I did my first dance workshop last month. This is the result.
I know, I am not Beyonce, but I feel so proud of myself. I feel inspired and I will use this feeling to remind myself to be brave; to be compassionate about my mistakes; to dare to feel uncomfortable and embrace the process. The only way is through.
As Sir Ken Robinson said in his famous Ted Talk
and this is Learning #3:
“If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original”
Again, Happiness is more related to internal processes than external events. In the words of Nicholas Epley, a University of Chicago behavioral scientist: “Happiness seems a little bit like a leaky tire on a car, we just sort of have to keep pumping it up a bit to maintain it.”
Lesson Learn #4: You’ve got to pump it up.
Just one last note, I now remember my husband used to tell me that dancing brings a smile to my face.
Bonus Lesson Learned: I need to listen to my husband more.